Don't know how to express my feelings right now, right at this moment. Tons of thoughts exploding inside my little brain and memories flashback too fast and too much. Just too much for now. I used to be an emotional person and emphasize too much on feelings. I can't really deal things rationally but somehow I been through all those old days and turn out to be a person who doesn't really show her face to others. It was a big contrast and took me really long time to become a human being like this, handle things without any emotional thoughts no matter how tough the situation is, what we so-called mature.
Those feelings squeezing every single of me out and keep asking myself the same question, every night, every second, whenever I stop doing thing. The process of being rational might be too suffered to me and lately I can't help but keep wondering is that necessary?
It was suffered but turn out I am really satisfying with my life now. I become tougher and being rational isn't a bad thing, it helps to ignore those interrupting voices and more concentrate on the problem itself instead of how people feel about it? Who cares? Whatever you do just can't satisfy everyone and only the result can zip their mouth, effectively and efficiently.
Just, focus on the path you have to continue. I used to doubt on myself as too much voices can interrupt me, or I should say I was too easy to be interrupt as I cared too much. I was not determined enough to believe that I was capable to deal with my decision.
I am desired, desired to set off for a solo-trip. I am so ready and really need to figure out what is deep down inside my heart. The city was too chaotic to listen to myself.
Is time, to go.